Big Ones, Small Ones, Some As Big As Your Head

So here is a little header for ya. I HATE SNAKES and bugs and things that poop on me. Just don't like em. But let's be honest. I have never touched a snake, and not really many bugs (unless i'm squishing them), and rarely things that could poop on me, except babies I guess. BUT! This weekend I conquered it all, sucked it up, and embraced the whole experience. And now I have awesome pictures to show for it. Enjoy.

Yeah, I let them put scorpions on me. Why? I. DON'T. KNOW.  But it was cool I guess. Until two of them conveniently ended up where they shouldn't have gone...thus resulting in another "pat down" by the scorpion remover men...  I should just get used to that these days.

"Not the boo box" was playing through my head this whole time. Hook anyone?

The first snake I've ever touched. Honestly, I sorta bonded with the guy. He was pretty cute, until he tried to wrap himself around my neck. But we'll just forget about that part...

Yeah...that guy was pretty cute until he pooped on me

Then the trainers did a snake show which involved taunting them and making them do cool things, such as hiss and jump. Personally I consider those scary things, not cool things. I saw my life flash before my eyes a few times I think.

That snake venom could kill you in a half hour. 

That guy actually kissed the thing. A pretty quality kiss too! Not even a peck, a pretty solid kiss. I don't know who I felt worse for...the man or the snake.

Yeah, the snake is in his mouth. And he didn't even use his hands to put it there.

 I feel like a snake farm is a lot like a hockey game. Hockey games are not fun if you do not see a fight. And snake farms are not fun unless you see someone get bit. Well I'd like to inform you, we indeed saw someone get bit. He's alive and well...I assume.

Startin the training young

Next up. Water Buffalo farm. I don't have a picture, but I did actually ride one of those things. I'm sure you're wondering, how did I get on it? Well let me tell you! Picture this. Gymnastics. Vault. Instead of a vault though, a water buffalo. Running start, hands on buffalo, and jump. Minus the flips and grace, I so mounted that thing! It was pretty funny, super ungraceful, but once in a lifetime I guess. I do have that on video, but I can't decide if I can embarrass myself like that.

That is the rice farm where we learned the rice growing process. This included knee deep mud in a river we just saw the buffalo go to the bathroom in. Awesome.

And I just thought this was cute. That baby was almost 2 months old. Love it!

Finally we went to an orchid/butterfly farm. For the record, I saw 5 butterflies tops. False advertising if you ask me. But at least the flowers were pretty!

And that, is the view I had for my nap that day. Not too shabby yeah?

So after getting home that night, let's just say I can't count how much animal junk I was covered in.

Snake, scorpion, hedge hog, water buffalo, lizard (one jumped on me while I was enjoying my mango. how rude of him. He obviously didn't know me and Pedro are tight), butterfly, ant, mosquito, dog, and i'm sure the list goes on.

Gone, Going, Gone

Pai.

An awesome, touristy, much like Chiang Mai province that I so luckily got to visit.

Laura, Anna, and I boarded a van for the long four hour drive out of Chiang Mai. Bumpy, twisty, crazy driving, cows blocking the road, ya know, the usual.

We arrived in Pai and I guess I was expecting something more remote. But nope! It was a ton like i'm used to here in Chiang Mai. Lots of shops and restaurants and massage places. The main difference. Hippies. They were everywhere here! Dreadlocks, baggy clothes, no makeup, big backpacks. Oh wait, that was just a description of me. I guess i'm adopting the whole hippie thing these days too. Consciously or not. I'm embracing it. I think the Aladdin pants just suck everyone in to be honest.

Anyway, after renting our bikes, which then got ran into by some Canadian who a) had a defective start button on his motor bike or b) just can't ride one at all like most falaangs, we headed on our 5km uphill bike ride to our destination. The Lisu Village.

I'm getting good at the whole bike riding thing these days. Other than being totally sore from the seat (does anyone knows how long that is even supposed to last??), bikes are no big deal. UNLESS you make it a steady incline in the boiling sun. Let's just say we ended up walking the bikes more than actually riding them..

This was my third hill tribe village since i've arrived in Thailand. Each has its own personality, almost completely different than the others! We stayed in a pretty nice house, there were lots of amazing hotel/bungalow places nearby, and a lot more modernized than the other two.

This is where we slept for the night. I just counted, in the one month i've been here i've slept in at least 6 different beds...

We were able to visit the day care. Can I just say I am a SUCKER for these kids. So cute! At first they wanted nothing to do with me and Laura. What was the ice breaker? Our cameras. They loved looking at themselves and their friends. Ohh it was hard to leave these kids! I would have been happy there all day.

Their faces speak for themselves!

This little guy was a total flirt!

They would all gather around to see their pictures. It was a great way for them to warm up to us. Thank you technology!

This reminded me of 101 Dalmatians. Ring a bell anyone?

These 2 little girls didn't leave my side once the camera came out. The little one in red kept stroking my leg or grabbing my hand. Ohh she was so cute!!

Aren't they so cute?! Love em

Then we got to see around the village. Including their Christian church, a Burmese market, a beautiful vacation stay place, and a lot more. The ladies that led us around and let us sleep in their home were so awesome. They speak Lisu so of course I don't know a word they were saying. One of them was so feisty though, I loved it! You could totally tell she was sassy even though I didn't know what she was saying. Love how that translates above the language barrier!

dark but oh well. These are the nice Lisu women in their traditional dress. Those outfits are VELVET!! And I thought I was hot?!

Pai was a pretty fun trip! We were even able to go down to their night market. Much smaller than Chiang Mai's though.

It was a great trip to meet the villagers and gain an understanding of the people i'm working for in this organization. It is so amazing to put faces to these people that I speak of in my work here. Once I see the womens groups that we are supporting, or the children that need that daycare, it reminds me just why i'm here. Although i'm enjoying the touristy stuff, these people are what is truly important. They are the reason I am here. So all in all, It was another great adventure in good ol Thailand.


Life lesson I learned on this trip though: If you need a self esteem boost... do NOT go clothes shopping in Asia. Just don't do it. And if you do, consider yourself warned (unless they are Aladdin pants, one size fits all.)

Shining, Shimmering, Splendid

Ode to Aladdin Pants

Aladdin pants have a place in my heart.

A place of comfort and drawstring after another rice meal.

A place for bright color and looking like an Australian tourist

They air me out when sweaty

Add variation to my white-t wardrobe when bored

And make trekkin up a mountain a breeze

Aladdin wears them, and Aladdin is agile

When I wear my pants, I feel agile too

Agile enough to ride an elephant

Do you even need to be agile to ride an elephant?

No, but I wore them anyway

Aladdin pants are stylin 

Maybe not in provo, but since when does that stop me 

Cupcakes are stylin in provo, but you don't see me dressing like a cupcake

They are cheap, cheaper than toothpaste

Jasmine is a babe

I however am not a babe when I wear them

Too rice cheeked, frizzy haired, and makeupless to be a babe. Ever again.

Bummer.

But I wear them anyway.

Best. Pants. Ever.

(cue Jumanji drum beat)

I'm on a boat.

Oh wait, correction.

I'm on an elephant.

Yeah, so this one time I rode an elephant. Oh, and that one time was yesterday. Cool yeah?

It's hair is poky
He liked to spit on me
We named him (her?) Chip (Chippy?)
Chip likes bananas (no duh.)
I thought I was going to fall off of Chip.

All in all, it was neat.

Next on the agenda was trekin. Full on mountain treckin.

Over logs laid over streams
Up and down muddy mountains
Under many waterfalls. Oh, technically only one today. I just get confused by the mass amounts of sweat constantly dripping down my face. TMI? Sorry.
Through cob webs (since I'm so much taller than the average Asian, I've learned one of the major downfalls. Cob webs. They aren't tall enough to run into the higher up ones, thus they leave them for me. Yay.)
During the biggest rainstorm i've ever experienced. Easily.
And through the most beautiful and amazing sites i've ever seen.
Seriously, amazing.

Next up, Hill Tribe

We slept at a village of the Lahu Tribe.

Highlight: Thai Massage... round two ding ding
Take a seat and relax for story time. This one requires your imagination a bit.
So we (all 8 of us White folk) are sitting around our table after arriving at the Tribe, just small talkin and takin a load off from the trek. Then we all notice that lots of Lahu women are starting to gather around us, we pay no mind at this point. Then one of the guides comes up to us and asks if we want massages. Next thing we know we are surrounded by at least 20 women asking all of us if we want massages. Grabbing our hands (or our butts in my case) to claim us for the massage.
I don't even know if I wanted a massage to be honest, but for the sake of peer pressure, the lady pushing my behind up into our hut, and the 20 other women crowded around, I literally had no choice!
Anyway, this is just one of those sites you had to see to believe. Picture this.

6 mattresses on the floor of this bamboo hut
Mosquito nets above all of them making the roof seems like it's 4 feet high. max.
Dark lighting seeing as there is NO lighting.
8 dirty, sweaty white people sprawled out on these who knows what covered sheets
20 tribe women hitting our bodies having absolutely NO CLUE what they are doing when it comes to a massage
And all of us just laughing slash writhing in pain depending on the moment

It was hilarious and honestly what I picture some back ally, sketch fest being like. Awesome


Yummy massaman curry dinner
Serenaded by the CUTEST little tribe kids ever. We bonded over patty-cake like hand claps. Who knew that is what would tie us all together?

 Then serenaded by our awesome tour guide Rambo. Yeah you read that right, Rambo.
Then...all of us sleeping in our mountain side hut with mosquito nets and all. Which then leaked the entire torrential downpour onto our heads. Let's just say not the best nights sleep, but HELLO! Who needs a good nights sleep after such a relaxing massage? HA!

Next, trek day round 2

Woke up literally in a cloud. You couldn't see anything except for the mountain we were on.
Beautiful just doesn't do it justice.

Let hiking day two begin

Then we continued our trek to another waterfall. It was slippery but SO worth it.

Followed by some white water rafting. Nothing too crazy but boy did it feel good to be in water!
Then some bamboo rafting. If i'm ever stranded on a desert island. I know NOT to build a bamboo raft. They don't do jack!

So there was my Thailand Treking experience. Something words just can not explain I guess. And of course I didn't take the pictures to show it either.


Also, used my first squatty potty...holla! Survived and converted. Those are so much more sanitary than most toilets, i'm a fan. Who knew??

Kiss Me Through The Phone

Well more like computer, but technology nevertheless.

Skype. Ever heard of it?

Oh just some FREE cultural phenomenon.

Who am I kidding, who hasn't heard of or used skype?

It's the best thing since Justin Bieber. Now who am I kidding? Everything is older than the Biebs. What is he, 5 now?

Really though, skype is the best thing that's happened to me since pb&j (which I even eat here in good ol Thailand. I would.).

How cool/amazing/incredible/awesome/fantastic (pick your adjective) is it that I can talk to someone down the street or across the ocean. And not only can I talk to them, I can see them! I love waking up to my almost daily chats with my mom. And being able to see Carrie as I say bye to her for 18 months. And see my friends and family who are miles and miles away. Technology is one cool thing.

Now sometimes the lack of hugs is killer, I wish I could just give a big hug to everyone I talk to. But i'll take what I can get! Kiss me through the phone, chat with me through computer...all the same yeah?

So today, i'm grateful for skype. It's just the thing I need when i'm missing home and pb&j isn't cuttin it.

Oh, and next week i'll be even more grateful for skype when it reconnects me with these guys. Love them to death, haven't seen them for two years, and am SOOOO glad I don't have to add three more months onto that. Skype ya soon boys! Woohoo!!

And whoever happens to read this, i'm sure i'd like to skype with you too! Tag me! Oh wait I mean, add me!
hay.heath

skype ya later!

Stand Out Above The Crowd

I came here knowing I would be taller than everyone. 

Fact.

But I did not come here knowing that I looked Asian.

Newly learned fact.

Who knew? Surely not me.

At least 5 times I have been asked if I am a luug kruung (half child)

Seriously? 

Really? 

Asian? Me?

They only guess half child because of my skin paired with my nose. One part Asian. One part not Asian. 

Also, I think the fro of hair gives me away too. I have NOT seen a fro on any Asian I've come in contact with that's for sure...

I have been asked if I am part Thai or part Japanese.

Really?

Well, I thought I would stand out because of my height and previously assumed whiteness.

But now I have learned that I am just the same. Blending in quite nicely I guess. Half child? Sure why not!

The only problem...I don't look white enough to ride my bike the wrong way on the road, or do dumb things and brush it off cause "i'm an oblivious white tourist." 

Bummer...

Hey mom and dad, why did you have to make me look Asian?

Me? Asian? Really? 

Sweet.

On a random note, here is another fro picture for you. Yes, It hadn't even left a fan since being washed. And yes, it was already that big. I'm sure you can only imagine what it would do as the day went on. Magic frizz I tell you. 

And that little friend in the upper left corner is my lizard Pedro (He can thank Carrie for the name, I tried to explain to her that I am not in Mexico. But the name had already stuck.)

Food, Glorious Food

Food is a pretty important part of my experience here, so I thought I would show you a pretty average day of meals here in Northern Thailand. 

Breakfast: This is my favorite breakfast by far. Occasionally I slide my milk and cereal in, but there is nothin like a street vendor khao neo and moo ping (sticky rice and pork on a stick) for breakfast.

Lunch: This first picture is Somtom (papaya salad). I have had this quite a few times actually, usually for dinner though. It is SPICY! Oh baby! Apparently I need to increase my intake of spicy foods to get rid of these lameo mosquito's so... somtom, bring it on! I would also like to point out that there is a crab sitting on the side of the bowl. And surprise...there were 3 more just chillin in the salad waiting to be found by my fingers. (you eat this with your fingers and a ball of sticky rice by the way)

That is the picture of the entire lunch. And don't even worry...that was for three people. And did we eat it all? You betcha! It consists of the above mentioned somtom, chicken on a stick, pig skins, and khao neo sii dum (black sticky rice). This was one of my best lunches yet. Filling. But awesome!

That is Laura and I discovering the many hidden crabs. I need to perfect my crab eating skills though. I pretty much mutilated the poor thing to open it, then only managed to find a speck of food...I still don't get it.

At this point, that dead crab may look better than I do...

 Dinner: This was a special dinner. Anna took me to S&P's which is this Americanish restaurant with Thai food. After that WAYYYY filling breakfast and lunch I didn't think i'd be able to shove another thing into my mouth. And yet....like every day here...I found a way to manage and eat it. All of it.

This was our yummy milk shakes. But don't be decieved. "milk shake" in Thailand is NOTHING like a milk shake in America. They really mean it. Milk. That's it. They just decided to shake it for a sec to call it a milk SHAKE. No joke. These were a little bit more normal though, well my normal I guess.

That was Anna's dinner. Spring rolls I believe

And that is frizzy haired me eating my yummy soup/sea food/snot noodle dinner. Snot noodle you ask? Yeah, snot noodle. They look like slash have the texture of snot. I'm not even joking. It's taking some getting used to, but of course i'm managing.

Oh and that little guy...he was my after dinner snack. Well, he could have been my after dinner snack I guess. Got home, got out a cup, went to the fridge to get water, returned to my cup, found a little friend in my cup. I like to think all of his siblings will stay out of my cups from now on, we had a chat about it, this little guy and I.

I find I do that a lot these days. I walk into the bathroom or my bedroom and assess the animal/bug situation. Once I have located all of them we come to a little agreement. (Yes, they understand English if you were wondering. And if not English, the death stares I repeatedly give them should be sufficient.) The agreement: they stay where they are and I stay where I am and no one gets hurt. I'm glad these animals/bugs have complied so far. I'm not sure for whose sake though... someone will get hurt. I'm just hoping it's not me...

Anyway, throw some ice cream or sev snacks into that day somewhere and there ya have it, a day in the life of Thailand food. Let's be honest...good thing i'm sweating it off like a maniac...I hope ha