If You Like It Than You Shoulda Put A Ring On It (Part 5)

Hi everyone! This is Hayley's roommates and Jonathan--we're guest posting part 5 because we know a bit  more about it than Hayley does.

It all started when Homeboy/Jonathan came to Sarah J. and said he was going to propose to Hayley pretty soon. Oh man, those were some giddy days. We were so excited! Later, he told all of us that he wanted to propose in our apartment because that is where everything has happened, and that he was thinking about doing a sort of a timeline of all of the things that he and Hayley had done together since they first met, with a station for each thing. We were so excited and it was really hard to keep it a secret, but somehow we all managed it.

A few weeks later, Homeboy called the ring place and found out that the ring would be done on Thursday. The sneaky rascal told Hayley that the ring would be ready on Monday, and then a few days later he asked Hayley on a date for Monday night. Hayley came in after he asked her and said, "Homeboy needs to learn how to be subtle." She simply could not believe that the dummy would practically tell her when he was going to propose. We did our best to be sympathetic but we all knew the truth--Homeboy was a lot more wily than she realized.

This was the plan: On Thursday morning, we were going to clear out our living room of all of the furniture while Homeboy went and picked up the ring. Then we would help Homeboy set up each of the stations. At five, Sarah J. was going to waltz back up to campus, act like she was coming from school, and pick up Hayley. That part was important, because Hayley has been known to come home at the most inconvenient times. It took a lot of work to commit her to that one. Once Hayley came in the door and had time to look at the timeline, Jonny would come down the stairs looking dashing and BAM! Make all of her dreams come true!

Well, the day finally came. Thursday morning arrived and Homeboy went to pick up the ring. We all felt that class and work and other responsibilities came second to the greatest day of Hayley's life, so we sent Hayley off to school and spent the rest of the morning getting ready. We cleared out all the furniture and then Homeboy arrived in a blaze of glory, holding the ring in his hand. We screamed and cried and you'll understand why when you see it--it is gorgeous. Good job, Homeboy. We set up the stations next. There was one for the first time they met (with a picture of them in their football gear, a football, and some cleats), one for the first time they cuddled (a mini fort made of our couch cushions), water guns for every time they have ever had a water fight (which is pretty much every day), and etc. Rachel, the domestic goddess of the apartment, had made bunting to hang around the room that showed the dates of each activity. The timeline ended with the date of the proposal--Thursday, March 22nd. We hate to brag, but the whole room looked dang good.

Well, 4pm found all of us sitting in the middle of the room, surveying our handiwork. The room looked dang good and we were all so pleased and feeling so leisurely--after all, we still had an hour and a half before Hayley was due.  But all of a sudden Homeboy got a look of pure terror in his eyes and started saying Hayleyhayleyhayleyhayley. We looked at the window and there came that wretched woman, prancing down the sidewalk and chattering away on her phone like she owned the place. We panicked. Rachel threw herself against the door and Homeboy, Sarah J., and Meggie hit the deck. Hayley started to unlock the door, but Rachel kept stalling for time and turning the knob while we thought of the plan. What we finally came up with was this: Send Sarah J. around back to distract her until Homeboy could get a suit on and grab the ring. Little did we know that we would regret that plan for the rest of our lives.

Sarah J. went outside to stop Hayley and this is what we heard:

Hayley: The door's stuck... I can't get in... what's wrong?

Sarah J: Nothing's wrong.

Hayley: What's wrong?

Sarah J: ...There's been a terrible accident.

Hayley: What's wrong?

Sarah J: ...There's been a murder.

Obviously that was the stupidest thing that anyone has ever heard and we all know it. Hayley finally decided that something was up and went to the neighbor's to await her fate. In the meantime, Homeboy sprinted home, threw on his fancy clothes, and then ran back up our stairs. Finally everything was ready and we went and got Hayley. 

She walked in and saw everything. We were all waiting on the top of the stairs, patting Homeboy on the shoulders and whispering good lucks, so we could hear her, and she was making some happy noises down there. Finally, the time came. Homeboy went down the stairs, shaking violently all the way, and gave her a big hug. He told her that she was his best friend and that he wanted to be with her forever. And then he got down on one knee (Hayley: "Are you serious??") and asked her to marry him.

And you know something? She said yes.

Hold My Hand (part 4)

Skip the add and venture on to our song :) I'll give homeboy all the credit for this one. I figure you can listen to it while you continue to read the drawn out story of us.



"Have you ever thought of us getting married?"
"I'm a girl, of course I have..."

Let me back up and preface this conversation a little bit.

Every day in California was perfect. We were able to tour San Francisco which I had never been to before. I loved every second of it! I went to the beach, ate Karen's (homeboys Mom) amazing homemade meals, got to know his family, met his ward and friends, saw the Oakland Temple, saw the Redwood forest, and answerd a million "name three things you learned about fill in the blank here" questions from his dad. (His whole family will know exactly what i'm referring to, and I swear to this day all those questions sealed the deal that I wanted to be a part of that family forever-no joke).

The Sunday we spent in California we went to his ward where I got to meet their hilariously amazing friend Loke. Let's just say she was quite a catalyst to the marriage talk (Jonathan can feel free to thank her for it for all eternity). After Sacrament she pulled out her snacks from her bag, knowing full well that we were not going to go to Sunday school or Relief Society, and began her interrogation. I loved it, she talked like we were getting married, even to the extent of telling him that he should feel free not to come home ever again if he doesn't bring me along. I could tell homeboy didn't quite know how to handle her marriage comments. We had never talked about it before and it was pretty obvious that he was uncomfortable- I thought it was funny to watch him squirm. I know it was his squirming that prompted the conversation later that night- thank you Loke, from the bottom of my heart, I'm glad at least someone was brave ;)!

His question caught me off guard that night. Being a girl, the second anyone hears you are dating someone they are all over the marriage question. So of course I had actually thought about it, and probably confessed the possibility of marrying him to a person or two. But no way in this world had I confessed it to him! After talking for a bit we both concluded that the possibility was real, we definitely wouldn't mind it, but it was too soon to tell. On that note we dropped the subject for a week or two.

We got back from California and knew my pending trip to Uganda this summer was rapidly approaching. Realizing that I was falling in love, while knowing that I was committed to a summer abroad, my brain was all over the place. Everyone was asking me if I was going to back out of Uganda, they have no idea how tempting it was. I really do feel like I am leaving a huge part of me behind, and lets be honest, I am leaving a huge part of me here, but I'll be back. I had to keep telling myself that I needed to make the decision on my own, but now this decision involved someone else which was definitely throwing a kink in the plans.

If i've learned anything, it is that plans change. I may have been too stubborn to let my Uganda plan change though. After weeks of emotional turmoil about what to do, Uganda/no Uganda? Marriage/no marriage? If marriage, Aug or Dec? The decisions seemed to be endless and I seemed to be making them alone. I knew where Jonathan stood on the whole thing, he made that very clear. At least one of us can make decisions! But he left my side of the decisions clearly up to me.

Prayer, fasting, talking, crying-rinse and repeat. That seemed to be the theme of my weeks. I knew I loved him, I knew I wanted to marry him, I knew I was really involved with Uganda- and yet, I confused myself into thinking that I knew absolutely nothing.

Once Jonathan told me that he wanted to get married in August, I put him through the worst few days while I tried to sort out my mind. Luckily he was patient enough for all the fog to clear, until I let reality hit that i've known my answer all along. I knew I loved him, I knew I wanted to marry him, and I knew I was really involved with Uganda. I just needed to figure out that I knew it- all on my own.

When that realization hit, and the peace flooded into my body, I have never wanted to tell someone something as bad as in that moment. I would have yelled it from across Provo that I KNOW I WANT TO MARRY YOU, if I knew he would hear me. But I kept it in until the second I saw him. The emotional roller coaster I had sent him on that week was hopefully worth the news at the end.

From that second on it became game time, like plan-wedding-in-turbo-mode kinda game time. No joke, the next weekend we found my wedding ring, and my wedding dress, getting engaged was irrelevant at that moment- we knew that we had a very limited time together before I leave for the summer and return 11 days before the wedding.

I guess the order of things is irrelevant when love is the name of the game. I'm okay with that. We do love in our own kind of way.

My love waits there in San Francisco (part 3)

Where did we leave off?

Football...check.
girl code...check.
fall in love... uh let's begin there.

I've never been in love before (well other than now of course). I've dated some people, been through the ups and downs of dating, felt the hopelessness that comes with the crush that doesn't like you back, ya know, i've made the rounds.

Falling in love though? I think I could do that all day every day. And lucky for me, I get to. It is fun to fall in love with someone the more you learn about them- the quarks, the good, and the bad.  It is worth the wait, worth the journey, and so worth the ups and downs.

Ya know the whole rhyme, first comes love, then comes marriage...you know the rest. Well I feel as though they left out a pretty big part... What happened to the courting?! (and no that word is not just for the 70 year olds)

So, let the courting begin!

Lots of hanging out led to...

...my post about the fort. Remember that one? Well there is a picture I left out... ta-da! Jonathan!

Surprise! It was not just me and my roommates making that fort. We had some help, from an eagle scout, who may have helped our success in a big way... And just my luck, that fort was just small enough that of course I had to be right by him, and of course the only place for his hand was right in mine :)

I guess that gave him the courage to ask me on a date cause homeboy (which is what my roommates and I call him) finally asked me on one...three weeks after the infamous football game. But somehow he didn't need three more weeks to get up the courage to kiss me because it sure happened that day. And let's be honest, first date and first kiss in the same night? I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!

After that point it becomes a blur for a few weeks.

Lots of time together+finals+my reluctance to say yes to officially dating him because I was scared and lame and wanted it to all slow down+going home for Christmas vacation=what happened to the month of December?!

I do remember sitting on the floor with my sister-in-law talking about marriage late at night over the break. We talked as though I was going to marry him even though I was not even technically dating him. But it felt natural. So natural. Intuition is a beautiful thing.

So I came back from Christmas break ready to be officially his.

More dating, more learning about each other, basketball camp outs, intramurels, and water fights got us through the dreary month of January.

Then February came, and February became the month that officially changed my life.

One of his friends was heading to Northern California over President's day, and invited him to come in order to split the gas money. Well seeing as that is his home, it made sense. To be honest it totally caught me off guard when he invited me to come along though. We had only been dating, technically, for one month, it wasn't very serious yet, and meeting his family seemed like a big step. I was really excited to go though, and we decided that it wasn't going to be a big deal, just a fun vacation from Provo. Little did we know, it would be the vacation that proved that we loved each other. And would love each other for then, and forever.

His family is amazing but I was really REALLY nervous to meet them. I've never been in that situation before, especially when I was going to be sleeping at their house for a weekend. I didn't know if they would like me, or tell him to break up with me, or think that I was not good enough. And hello, anyone seen Meet The Parents?? So many things could go wrong! Burning the house down, breaking someones nose, breaking a vase of a dead persons ashes, so many possibilities.But, at least as far as i'm concerned, it was one of the best weekends of my life.

Yeah, it was just what I needed to prove that the things I was beginning to feel in Provo were true...

And one night after a picnic in the Redwood Forest, we were laying on the couch in front of a fire when he, out of no where says, "Have you ever thought of us getting married?"

To which I responded...

My love waits there in San Francisco (part 2)

Girl Code. 


If you type it in to urbandictionary.com, this is what you get...


1. Girl Code

The code of guidelines that girls must obey in order not to get kicked out of the community. There are many opinions if the Girl Code actually exists, as well as the Guy Code. 1) If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy". 2) All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.” 3) If you just met a guy and know absolutley nothing about him, but need to refer to him during 'girl talk' you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes... that guy. (Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy") 4) Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retreived. 5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into. Exception: If he's one of those guys who every girl likes.  2. Girl Code An established code, a womans law that 'every girl should follow.ODE   -------------------------------------------------------------------  Any rulebreak is punishable from fellow females and general looking down upon... (note rules are not in order of importance, bar rule #1)  -------------------------------------------------------------------  1# Rule no 1 and the MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL.. No girl may date her friend's; exs, past crushes, guys who have humiliated/used her and guys she currently fancies... Do this at your own risk!! Acceptions to rule: a) Your friend has given you permission/ couldn't care less b) The said fancying/going out happened before the age of puberty  2# It is perfectly acceptable to take an automatic dislike to a girl/ judge them without ever speaking to them  3# Chocolate is an accepted food in any occasion  4# A girl has a right to lie in order to keep a secret told to her by her best friend.  So, you see... girl code. Always risky territory I say. As far as I was concerned, the great hugging quarterback was taken via numbers 5 and 1 in the aforementioned definitions...hate that right? I looked across the table at him while we were eating tacos at Julia's party, and thought to myself, "don't even go there Hayley." I swore to myself, to the girl code, to the girl, and to the well-being of the universe, I was NOT going to like someone that was already being crushed on. I tell you, I tried! I told myself that I did not like him, I told my roommates that I did not like him, but let's be honest...  Once I realized (probably more like once I accepted) that I was falling for this kid, I had to figure out if it was for real. I knew that it had better be worth it for all the unsettled feelings it could cause everyone involved.  It didn't take long for me to tell that this was different, he was different, he made me feel different. And I liked it a lot.  "Wherever you go, go with all your heart" -Confucius  With that as my motto, a hard conversation with one of my best friends in the world under my belt, and a first date coming up, my world embarked on the whirl-wind that I like to call-- falling in love.

My love waits there in San Francisco (part 1)

Now that I have officially blown the mind of the fbook world with my little news last week, I guess it's about time to introduce this whole blog world to the reason I have been distracted from blogging...

Story time shall we?

Once upon a time, let's say...last September, My roommates and I moved into a little apartment called Monticello. Little did we know then, our back door would be located precisely 16 steps from the love of my life's front door.

Anyway, life went on, single, lovin it (sort of), and preparing to leave for Uganda in the coming May. Flag football was great as always, passing the time of another fall semester. Another "little did I know then occurrence", my nameless free safety coach would later become a lot more than that...

Thanksgiving time rolled around, which means one thing. Ward Turkey Bowl. And boy can I thank this one event for changing the course of my life. When the boys finally let the girls join their football game, I was put on a team, and probably played the game of my life. Thank goodness! Our quarterback was getting a little frustrated with me, telling me to quit playing like a girl and do something! I took a little offense, but followed orders and ran straight down the line without looking back until I reached the end zone. I did just that, and caught a mighty beautiful pass to get a touchdown. In my opinion, it was that very second that Jonathan realized who I was, and that he might have some potential interest. I guess it makes sense, seeing as he was that quarterback, the one who threw the beautiful pass, that I caught, that changed our lives. I still remember the huge hug he gave me after that, yep, I liked it.

The game continued, we were playing to 7 touchdowns and we were winning with six. Jonathan gave me the little nod, like the "it might be coming to you nod."  I was game. I ran my fastest down the field, started fading to the middle, then caught another beautiful pass. Everyone cheered (once the shock that I actually caught that went away), got another huge hug, celebrated the win, and then I went on my merry way, not thinking too much about the skilled quarterback who gives good hugs.

THE Turkey Bowl

That night Julia had a taco party at her house which, according to Jonathan, is when I caught his eye a little bit.  But this is when this story gets a little tricky...

To Make You Feel My Love

There are a few girls in my life who deserve a shout out.

Let's be honest though, they deserve A LOT more than that, but sometimes this is just the best I can do.

I am one lucky girl.

I have been blessed to live with the best five girls throughout my time in college. As I watch our original crew dwindle I can't help but hurt. Like a deep down, in your heart hurt. But even more than that, I feel so much love and excitement for the things they are doing.

We were put together freshman year to become who we are now. And now is our time to prove that we've done just that. If we kept each other to ourselves then what have we contributed to the world? We were put together to prepare us for things to come, and now is the time to take that jump. Marriage, missions, school, all such worthy causes. And the fact that we got each other to each of these milestones is one beautiful thing.

We have molded each other, loved each other, and laughed and cried the whole way through. I owe them the moon and the sun and all the stars in between. They have held me together when all I wanted to do was fall apart. They loved me when I was anything but lovable. And for that I am eternally grateful.

People told me that i'd make the best friends in college. I doubted them, but now best friends doesn't even describe it.

At times they know me better than anyone. One day I was sad because I missed out on eating Thai food with my friends. What did my roommates do? They surprised me a delicious Thai meal the next day. One day I said I was craving a smoothie. The next day I wake up from a nap with a smoothie waiting for me. One night, okay lots of nights after Thailand I would cry and cry. What would they do? Sit in silence, with me, hugging me, willing me through this slump right by my side, just where I needed them. Boy problems arise, they talk me through them. Boy excitement arises, they are there every step of the way.

I owe these girls. Boy do I owe them big time. They have made these last three years ones to NEVER forget. I love you all. For the things you have taught me, for the ways you have served me, for the things you have changed within me. Please know how much you mean to me. Whether I always show it or not...

Peace and blessings my girls.

Out of the doubt that fills my mind

My semester, and brain for that matter, seems consumed with preparations for Uganda. Literature reviews, proposal writing, article reading, medical training, panicking, the list goes on.


With all these preparations one would think that my excitement level and prepared feelings would heighten as the semester goes on. Well of course that would be the logical assumption. But what I really find is that my feelings of inadequacy and fear heighten.


I was watching Hook the other day (of course I was) and the last line sort of hit me. K not sort of, it really hit me.


Granny Wendy: So... your adventures are over. 
Peter Banning: Oh, no. To live... to live would be an awfully big adventure.


I think I have had this feeling lately. I went to Thailand, I had an adventure. And now my adventures are over. OR, why would I miss out on Uganda? That's the only way to have another adventure? Peter's response rings true to me though. I have had an adventure, but life itself is the adventure. Whether I am going to school in Provo, riding an elephant in Thailand, or working my tail off in Uganda, it is an adventure if I choose to make it one.


I've been looking at my Thailand journal lately. I thought it might help me with some decisions I find myself making these days. I was not planning on it helping me increase my desire to go to Uganda, but the strength of my own words right on the cusp of my Thailand adventure have rejuvenated my excitement for Uganda...for the most part.


Here is a little bit from my first day back in America, written around 4:00am when I could not sleep due to the time change.
"Thailand feels like a distant dream. A good dream though, a life changing, never wanna wake up from it kind of dream. I prayed every night thanking my Heavenly Father for the chance to be there...


I learned that I can do hard things, but I also learned that I can not do hard things alone. Without the opportunity to skype home and hang out with my Thailand crew I never would have made it. Ever. It shows me that the happiness in life is directly influenced by the people you spend it with. I am blessed to have the people in my life that I do. Oh, I'm so blessed!


I learned I am brave.


I learned I can stand alone, without the cover of my comfort groups around me.


I learned that the world is an amazing place. And I am on this earth to experience it.


I learned that I need to remember the experiences I have had and go up. If I come home from a life changing experience like that and fall back into all the same patterns as before then i simply didn't learn my lesson. I need to make changes. Life is an evolution, it is just up to me whether it evolves forwards or backwards. 


Thailand was a beautiful, challenging, enlightening, exhausting, exciting, hard, adventure. I laughed, and I cried...a lot... I hope i left some sort of mark on Thailand because I sure know it left a mark on me. I hope to never be the same as  I was pre-Thailand."




I still have my doubts about Uganda at times. And those doubts are,putting it lightly, FREAKING ME OUT! People that know me know that I make a decision, make it happen, and remain confident in it. I don't know what my hesitation is, or when it will go away. If it is even planning on going away... My brain knows I can do this, but something deep down inside is not so convinced...