tell you the story of who i am

When I recently did my grad school applications, some of the schools required a "personal history statement." Here is the description of the essay they wished to receive.

In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how you might contribute to social or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.

Although some of the sections mention furthering your education, it can all be applied to any career you choose to pursue. It was an interesting process to dig deep and figure out what got me to where I am. This essay was both challenging and fulfilling to write. As a Mormon white girl I feel as though I don't have much cultural diversity to add...but, like all people, I have a past and experiences and my own story. And it was a fun process to think of that past, experiences, and story and put it into words.

I suggest all people do it. Or at least think about it. If you had two pages to convince someone that you were worth something to them and that you have experienced life, what would you say? 

I learned a lot about myself in the process. 

I just wanna live while i'm alive

Speaking of life (the last post), this is quite a way to think about it!

I think today I hope to serve a little more and watch tv a little less. 2000+ hours of TV and only 500+ hours of service. Quite disproportional if ya ask me!!

So maybe ask yourself, what will you do with that time?

It's the Good Life

Long story short.

Life is busy. But I don't imagine it is ever not busy. So there is that.

But I actually feel pretty on top of life for once, at least when it comes to school.

I am still on track to graduate with my Masters degree in June.

My applications for my PhD are in ahead of schedule.

And my endless pages of papers are well underway.

Which means that a curve ball is headed at me.

If i've learned anything, it is that nothing stays smooth for long.

Mind you, I sure am not on top of everything.

I didn't stick to my workout plan yet again this week.

I didn't stick to my pre-Thanksgiving eating plan either.

I did however manage to beat myself up about it.

But, like, it's cool. I mean, i'm human.

So I plug along like the rest. Managing the busy, coping with the inefficiencies, and pretending I don't care about the failures.

Such is life.

But I have a really, really good life. So there is that as well.


On a whole other note... when I was completing my applications for school I went through an extremely emotional roller coaster.

Jonathan and I are not too sure what is coming in the next few months/years. Will he get accepted? Where? Will I get accepted? And since we are not made of money we made the hard, but right decision to limit my applications. So opposed to the many I was hoping to apply to, I stuck with applying to the few.

It was hard to accept, to possibly leave my PhD dreams behind. Or at least behind for now.
But there are times in life when you just have to trust.
And oh boy are we just trusting right now.
Trusting that if we keep doors open, one of them will be the right one.
Trusting that everything will be okay.
And trusting that someone will want us.

It is a hard thing to put everything you've worked for in the hands of a careless holder.
Right now we are literally words on a page to people who are determining our entire future.
They look at who we are in terms of our failures and accomplishments.
They weigh the risk of taking us vs. the risk of letting us go.
How cruel of a system I say.

No one should have the power to judge you by a piece of paper. A number. Or an essay.

But once again, such is life. And it really, truly, deep down, is such a good life.